Warm Saturday Afternoon

17 January 2021

(Started writing this at 11:11PM for all you synchronicity freaks out there!)

I thought I’d attempt to calm things down with some recent photographs made on my phone.

I won’t bother to annotate these much. They are mostly from my neighborhood walks through DOCO to Old Sacramento. Today was a little different, though, because troops are deployed to protect government buildings.

I told my young friend I want to play with her is this park some day.
It’s 70! Jackets off!
Oh-oh, another couple got there first!
There must have been 40 bike riders in this group!

Special times are upon us…

Message to Someone in Trouble

15 January 2021

We have a stable datum in Scientology: “In the presence of suppression, one makes mistakes. People making mistakes or doing stupid things is evidence that a Suppressive Person exists in the vicinity.”

Suppressive Person (SP) is our term for psychiatry’s Antisocial Personality and psychology’s sociopath. These are the truly “toxic” people of the world, and it is very wise to stay away from them.

If you aren’t all trained up on spotting SPs, it may be difficult to determine exactly what is making you feel “off,” “not myself,” “stupid,” tired, sick, or having too much “bad luck.”

If you feel this way a lot it is very wise to withdraw from your usual environment for a period of time in order to get more exterior to the situation. If you are having trouble sleeping, get extra rest.

Normally this will accomplish a temporary disconnection that will make you feel better, more clear headed, and more able to evaluate things rationally. Take this time to inform yourself about this type of personality. I like to use the videos on our TV channel. (Shorts page, first section.)

Hopefully this information will help you spot the person. Someone who has training and experience in this area can really help, but in a pinch, trying it yourself is better than doing nothing.

Your most immediate goal is to dissolve any dependence on the person that you may have so you can deal with them on a roughly equal footing. This will enable you to disconnect if communication does not resolve the problem. Some people will act suppressive in certain situations because they have accepted false data about you handed to them by a real SP. If this is the case, you want to give communication a chance rather than ruining an otherwise useful friendship.

Be assured that if you remain within a sociopath’s sphere of influence, they will continue to attempt to make you feel like shit, etc. So if communication fails to resolve the situation, it is best to fully end the relationship. The pain of detachment will be much less than the suffering you will experience by remaining attached.

Good luck!

Addendum: Always Tired

Exhaustion (tiredness) is apparently a big thing with a lot of younger people these days. A 25 year old rapper even got the words “always tired” tattooed under his eyes! I just saw an article about it.

Let’s take all the body stuff (rest, sugar and processed foods, coffee, “stress”) out of the equation and look just at Spirit for a moment:

Every being has a mind full of pictures of injury, pain and death. The emotion in these is the ultimate of “tired!”

If you keep your “space” (area around you that you put your attention on) small, these pictures will tend to get in your face, and affect you, and you will “feel tired.” What are some great ways to keep your space small? Look at your smartphone all day long! Or your computer! Or a book (old school method -worked for me)!

If you “make more space” around yourself – go for a walk and LOOK AT STUFF, not your phone! play ball with someone, mow a lawn, maybe even clean a room – those pictures are less in your face and they won’t bother you so much. You may even feel, magically, less exhausted!


Winter’s Spring

11 January 2021

Here in Central California, it is the middle of winter, but we have only had moderate precipitation so far, and the daily highs are usually in the 50s. So winter here functions much as spring would in other places. With the help of rains, new plants green out, while the low sun and mild temperatures keep them from drying out too much.

I decided to photograph this little dell as the perfect example of this. This is the place I want take my honey (if I can ever get anyone to be my honey) for a little tête-à-tête some warm spring day. Or maybe a picnic?

Last week I photographed ferns and little plants growing out of the leaf litter to illustrate this same process.

Last week I also saw about 8 deer cross the rock field where they have been staying. The bucks were too fast for me, but I caught these two younger ones.

Some of our oak trees keep their leaves in the winter, but the blue and valley oaks (white oak family) shed them. Then the galls growing on them become very obvious. The galls are made by wasp larvae when they secrete some chemical that stimulates the growth of the tissue they were laid in (a bud, normally).

In my quest to open up the second dynamic a little more in my posts (after all these years) I occasionally capture examples of the feminine form, moms with their kids, etc. Here are some:

Here are the same little girls running ahead of their moms. Kids really like to run!

Here is a young lady out for some exercise:

She reminded me of French paintings I have seen celebrating the fuller figure, but I couldn’t find the one I remembered. Here is another, by Renoir:

Bridges are symbolic of linking things that otherwise would have a hard time being in communication. And there are two bridges on the part of the trail I take. Here is the second, a miniature suspension bridge at California State University Sacramento:

May we eventually rebuild all the bridges that have been burned during these recent times of hardship!

My Little List of Lies

10 January 2021

Here is a recap of the main points I have been making in terms of ethics and Spirit, randomly illustrated by photos taken on my phone this morning. The “lies” are based mostly on what Wikipedia has to say about things, that being the online voice of mainstream reality.

1. There’s something wrong with Hubbard. My church has been studied by numerous theologians and found to meet all the criteria of a bona fide religion. In 1993, the IRS granted the church full tax-exempt status as a religious organization. It appears that all that is “wrong” with Hubbard is that he likes to tell stories and make people happy. Remind you of any other famous religious leaders?

2. Reincarnation is no more than a religious belief. Even though Ian Stevenson and several other academic researchers (Jim B. Tucker, ,Antonia Mills Satwant Pasricha, Godwin Samararatne, Erlendur Haraldsson) have carefully documented thousands of cases of reincarnation, the mainstream continues to side with Carl Sagan (NOT a researcher in this field) that this is a pseudoscientific theory.

3. Out of Body Experiences should only be interpreted as the psychologists instruct us to. The very well-documented fact of exteriorization (OBE) proves the existence of a “spiritual” entity that embodies human personality, perception, and experience (memory). The mainstream insists in siding with traditional psychologists, even though there are many non-traditional academics seriously studying this and related phenomena.

4. Your brain makes decisions for you. The mainstream still treats the brain as the seat of thought (the mind) and intention (personality). Though it has been quite adequately demonstrated that Spirit, in its various forms, actually does all the decision-making in life, many continue to see the brain as a kind of decision-making computer, without regard to the logical fallacy that accompanies this conclusion. (Namely, what decided to build the computer?)

5. If you are born with a trait, that means you inherited it, and thus it is must be genetic. This argument begins to fall apart as soon as you realize that points 1-4 are lies. As soon as you realize that a being carries experiences from other lives into this life, the genetic argument becomes only one of many possible explanations for why someone is born with a certain trait – including some body traits.

6. It’s all Evolution, folks. The supposed evolution of biological forms remains the de rigueur (fashionable and thus correct) explanation for all the various manifestations of life on Earth, including human behavior, sociology, politics, crime, religion, etc. Though the theory of “evolution by natural selection” has been reliably demonstrated to be mathematically impossible, it continues to dominate Western thinking and theory. At this point, this has become a dangerous path to continue to walk down, as so many of its basic assumptions are false. It is like trying to proceed across a bridge that is in the process of being dismantled.

The ideal female torso?

7. Crime is impossible to understand. On this subject, I could find no pat pronouncements. Though, of course, the explanations of people who believe in 1-5 are likely to be faulty, and no one except Hubbard has explanations not based on 1-5. So this lie is only resolved for me because I am a Scientologist. The Anti-Social Personality is at the root of all criminal activity on Earth today.

8. Important political assassinations were not political assassinations. Rather than break this down by each killing or attempted killing, I group them all together here. The story is that the term “conspiracy theorist” was popularized as a way to ridicule people who did not believe the official narrative on how JFK died. The most spectacular politically-motivated deaths to occur in my lifetime include: Marilyn Monroe, JFK and his brother, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. Of these deaths, the JFK murder has been the most thoroughly researched, while the actual facts of the Marilyn Monroe killing have been perhaps the best documented. I think you know the mainstream explanations for most of these deaths. But judging from the work done on Marilyn and JFK, all such explanations are almost certainly false if not extremely false and misleading. All of these deaths were sensitive, and still are for many, because these personalities were so well known and loved. Therefore the perpetrators took great pains to boost the false narratives and hide the truth. The most likely truth about the death of any influential person is that an enemy had him killed. And that has proven to be the case in all those I mentioned, as far as facts could be determined.

9. Visits from extraterrestrials are fantasies. These are now so widely reported and studied that to continue to consider them as some sort of elaborate delusion amounts to gross negligence. The only reasons these cases remain so inscrutable are: 1) ET does not want us know the truth. And that is for sure! 2) Those directly involved with ET on Earth do not want us to know what they are really doing.

Because these off-world relationships have become very important to a few influential people, an elaborate process is in place to keep such stories under control. This is greatly assisted by continuing to push hard on 1-4, never giving up, never relenting in insisting on falsehood over solid evidence. Because if those myths fall, the rest will, too. The existence of extensive ET activity is verified through past life recall as well as remote viewing. More recent ET activities have been extensively documented as well as verified by remote viewers. It is a very difficult field to keep up with, as “insiders” are notoriously unreliable, and remote viewers are scarce and so can only cover so much ground in their work.

9. There is something wrong with Trump. As far as I can tell, the main thing wrong with Trump is that he didn’t want to be President that much. Otherwise, he seems to be a more or less average successful businessman with the usually-expected array of strengths and weaknesses. The only reason he is supported is because there are a LOT of people on this planet who are tired of being lied to (see points above). The only reason he is reviled is because there are a LOT of people on this planet who are not tired of being lied to! In fact, they kinda prefer it. After all, the truth can be difficult to confront, make one uncomfortable, etc. Who wants that?

The top of my apartment building, from a block away.

I am posting this list now as a sort of explanation for what may yet come to pass if the stories I am being told are true. It is my best attempt (so far) to explain why I do not, will not, and probably can never again believe mainstream stories. In the early years of my life, this attitude was not justified. It is now.

Purgatory, Further Exploration

7 January 2021

I want to continue exploring this feeling of being caught in an emotional deadlock, or a kind of mental prison, where no kindness, no understanding, no validation of reality or truth or experience is possible or allowed. A way to enforce aloneness in an overcrowded world. A way to guarantee the ultimate triumph of the criminal mind.

I watched Episodes 7-9 of Star Wars last week. And you know what the Resistance people kept telling each other was their one advantage? That they loved each other.

My willingness to embrace truths that the criminal mind is highly averse to is part of what put me in this position. Yet the feelings I deal with from day to day seem much more pedestrian than that – much more connected to the simple ebb and flow of being human, of falling in love, of cherishing simple companionship. These are, however, a huge part of what the criminal mind can’t stand.

I will think of my friend and how much I wish I could be with her. It is a strange feeling to me. Yet the love songs are full of it. Devotional music is full of it. That unfulfilled longing. The torture of enforced separateness. The physical universe ridicules me for being stuck in a body that makes it “impossible” for me to be with the people I love and care about, “impossible” to touch them. Though, if I had a higher level of spiritual skill, I could be with the people I love.

The Spiritual Being

The capabilities of a spiritual being have been investigated to some extent, although this has been hampered by Science’s unwillingness to acknowledge the existence of Spirit.

We have Hubbard’s work, and the numerous reports of people who have had spiritual experiences.

The picture that emerges is of a being who is extraordinarily perceptive, intelligent and empathetic. This being has an innate sense of rationality, ethics, justice and fair play. It is capable of giving and receiving tremendous quantities of love. But how this being interacts with others depends a lot on what it has learned through training and experience. Without training, a spiritual being’s enormous potential to help and do good may be wasted by a lack of practical know-how. Such a being is capable of creating some enormously bad effects due to errors of judgment.

Such errors typically result in the being feeling so invalidated by its environment that it will begin to self-suppress. It will limit its own abilities in a misguided attempt to protect others from its stupidity. This tendency to self-police has resulted in the lack of spiritual self awareness that is so prevalent today.

With one’s self awareness stifled, and one’s natural abilities withheld, a being can attempt to compensate in ways that are noticeable, but not helpful. A being may develop an unusual level of intelligence or drive, then use that to accomplish something that turns out to be very destructive, such as the atom bomb. While we have no doubt that the developers of the bomb were quite intelligent, their willingness to use those abilities to support what was essentially a criminal enterprise shows a deep irrationality bordering on self-destructiveness.

“Modern” psychology, in its various attempts to classify (understand?) people, developed IQ as an early measure of a person’s usefulness, or potential worth, to society. This could be said to be part of the technocratic tradition, a dispassionate and really very materialistic vision of how societies should be managed. Later, other measures were developed as ways to understand why some (many?) people were failing in life regardless of how intelligent they were.

One such measure is called EQ (emotional IQ). As with IQ, exactly how to measure EQ is a bit up in the air. But in both cases, these are learned abilities that can be enhanced by study. From my point of view, the essence of EQ would be knowing and being able to apply the Emotional Tone Scale.

Another way to measure people is called “sensitivity.” Though the psychologists are trying to tell us that sensitivity is determined by nervous system activity, I know full well that there is more to it than that. To me, “sensitivity” measures to what extent a being has allowed itself to “show through.” The “highly sensitive person,” then, would be someone who grants beingness to his spiritual abilities a lot more than most people. That’s how I see it, taking my own training into account.

The question of how this wide variation of spiritual expression came to be is an interesting one to consider. But it must have something to do with a being’s track of experience, and how beaten down he allowed himself to become. In my view, then, the highly sensitive are those who are the least beaten down spiritually. That doesn’t mean they are more intelligent, although they tend to be because intelligence does rely on spiritual ability.

Thus, in pop psychology, we find a crossover of observed behaviors when intelligent people are compared to sensitive people. Here is one possible rundown, using data from websites and videos:

  1. Intelligent: Doesn’t like small talk. Aware of too many deeper topics which one would rather discuss. Sensitive: Finds small talk emotionally superficial. Prefers to be deeply honest.
  2. Intelligent: Thinks more than speaks. Sensitive: Thinks deeply. Introverts to analyze.
  3. Intelligent: Gets bored easily. Has a need for constant intellectual stimulation. Sensitive: Overactive senses tend to make it more difficult to calm down, relax, or sleep.
  4. Intelligent: Paralysis by analysis. Likes to analyze before deciding rather than winging it. Sensitive: Takes longer to make decisions. May fail to decide in time.
  5. Intelligent: Socially awkward. Sensitive: Works well in teams, as a member, not necessarily leader. Has good manners, which is to say, is thoughtful of others.
  6. Intelligent: Harder to make friends. Likes to spend time alone, but if no friends, can get depressed. Sensitive: Capable of deep friendships and tends to avoid shallow ones and shallow people. But needs “alone time” to process overwhelming experiences.
  7. Intelligent: Harder to find love. More cautious, independent and analytical. Tends to be seen as “high maintenance” Sensitive: Often seen as a “high maintenance” lover. Can get overwhelmed by sexual emotions, but capable of very deep feelings of love.
  8. Intelligent: Harder to have fun. Sensitive: Loud, bright, or noisy environments are difficult to tolerate. “Partying” can seem superficial compared to more intimate forms of interaction.
  9. Intelligent: Oversensitive to making mistakes. Fear of failure. Sensitive: Likes to get things perfect. Takes criticism poorly.
  10. Intelligent: Feels pressured to succeed. “You can see and understand things that other people around you can’t perceive.” Failures result in self-criticism. Sensitive: Small things in the environment can have a big impact. Sees details that others miss. Poor choices weigh hard on him.

You see how these two measures overlap? One viewpoint is more emotion-based than the other, but there is a lot of crossover because these abilities rely on a lot of the same spiritual abilities (perception, communication). A high IQ can exist in people who are very (!) out of touch with their emotions and with the feelings of other people. High sensitivity includes abilities that contribute to IQ but also involves abilities that contribute to EQ.

Was I upset when I drew this?

Purgatory revisited

Now let us visit our modern technocratic world. It still values IQ over sensitivity. Sensitive people are seen as “too emotional.”

This has to do with the fact (fact!) that modern society has taken on certain criminal characteristics. Sensitive people can’t tolerate these features of modern life. The rest have learned to manage somehow.

So that is another way of explaining or describing why the current situation is so upsetting to those who are more sensitive (or spiritually open). We know how damaging it is to be deprived of touch, of facial expressions, of free communication. To say nothing of the lost jobs, lost income and lost production caused by the economic shutdowns that have occurred. This weighs hard on us even if we are personally protected from its worst impacts.

This results in a situation in which one feels one must act, yet can find no way to act beyond merely writing about it. In some societies, even writing about the problem would be a personally dangerous activity. For a sensitive being, a being somewhat aware that he is a spiritual being, such restrictions can produce very high levels of frustration. It feels like being tortured. It is extremely unsettling.

List for the Highly Sensitive Person

1. You think deeply. When life throws you a curveball, you retreat deep into your shell, thinking through every aspect of what transpired before taking any action. Small things (in your own life and other people’s lives) can have a big impact on you.

2. You’re detail-oriented. You’re as sensitive to details as you are to feelings. You see details that others miss, and you aren’t content until you’ve dotted all the i’s and crossed the t’s. This is a strength that is highly valuable in some professions.

3. You take longer to reach decisions. Since you’re prone to dig deep beneath the surface, you tend to drag out decisions. You can’t help but try to run every possible outcome through your head, and this is often at the expense of the ticking clock.

4. You’re crushed by bad decisions. When you finally make a decision, and it turns out to be a poor choice, you take it much harder than most. This can create a vicious cycle that slows down your decision-making process even more, as fear of making a bad decision is part of what slows you down in the first place.

5. You’re emotionally reactive. When left to your own devices, you have a knee-jerk reaction to your feelings. You also have strong reactions to what other people are going through. When your emotions come on strong, it’s easy to let them hijack your behavior. The hard part is channeling your feelings into producing the behavior that you want.

6. You take criticism harshly. Your strong feelings and intense emotional reactions can make criticism hard to take. Though you may overreact to criticism initially, you also have the tendency to think hard about things and explore them deeply. This exploration of criticism can play out well for you in the long run, as your inability to “shrug it off” helps you make the appropriate changes.

7. You work well in teams. Your unique ability to take other people’s feelings into account, weigh different aspects of multifaceted decisions, and pay attention to the smaller details makes you extremely valuable in a team environment. Of course, this can backfire if you’re the one that is tasked with making final decisions, as you’re better suited to offering input and analysis than you are to deciding which option to choose.

8. You have great manners. Your heightened awareness of the emotions of other people makes you highly conscientious. You pay close attention to how your behavior affects other people and have the good manners to show for it. You also get particularly irked when other people are rude.

9. Open offices drive you crazy. Your sensitivity to other people, loud noises, and other stimuli makes it practically impossible for you to work effectively in an open-office environment. You’re better off in a cube or working from home.

Real communication.

Notes on a discussion between two highly sensitive people

Colleen Ruiz interviews Angie Sanchez (Integrative Health Coach and HSP). https://www.angiesanchez.life on “Embrace Your Sensitive Superpower” dated 15 Jan 2020.

(Angie is in Miami, Colleen is in Sarasota.)

When did you find a name for this?

It became more obvious after puberty, but really five or six years ago in conversation with my coach.

Clues during younger life?

Dating, friendship troubles could cause extreme depression. Saw myself as “feeling things deeply.”

Emotional slave?

In my mid-20s I was still just “very sensitive.” Would get “downloads” from people. Loving at a deep level can be seen as a gift. “I really fucking love you.”

I see colors, smell things much better.

Health impacts?

Negative: Overwhelm translates to a panic attack (hormone imbalances if overdone).

Positive: There are lots of advantages of having empathy.

Being a better love partner.

Being a better communicator.

I can “hold space” for someone (her way of saying grant beingness, or follow the Auditor’s Code). Then check in to see if duplication occurred. Then express oneself in a similar manner.

Expressing intentions and objectives at the beginning of a conversation. (Being honest.)

Emotional intelligence (EQ) and sensitivity?

It helps me to be less reactive (impulsive) and more responsive (thoughtful).

Managing one’s sensitivity is accomplished through improving emotional intelligence.

Advice for managing overwhelm?

1. Prepare. Strengthen emotional intelligence. Understand yourself on a deeper level.

2. Cope. Avoid experiences you know will upset (overwhelm) you. Prepare if you choose to be involved. Cut it off when you notice yourself shutting down, or extrovert onto a friend or companion.

(Colleen says “good shit.”)

I have a built in bullshit detector. I have caught people lying to me! Don’t lie to me!

One reality, two stories.

A dialog about how I diverged

Interviewer: You have been making the point that we are missing something in our current understanding of what is going in the world. That our analyses are too superficial, too tame. Could you explain this attitude to me?

Me: Up to the time when I read Hubbard’s work, I saw the world much as most intelligent thinking people describe it.

They see it as a YOLO world. A world of “grab it while you can get it.” “This might be your last chance.” This perception generates high anxiety levels.

I was led to Hubbard’s work because I wasn’t satisfied with this description. It was not resulting in any forward progress. It was simply providing something to talk about. It was as if the future suffering of your children and grandchildren and possibly all to come after them was simply something to discuss, and not really worthy of any more serious attention.

I was appalled by this attitude. I can’t begin to describe to you how appalled I was by it. It was not so obvious back then, when I first began thinking about this. It is much worse now.

Interviewer: When did you begin to question these prevailing narratives?

Me: I was maybe 13 or a little younger. There was a lot of crap going on around me in the world. That was clear from the newspaper, news magazines, the TV. This information littered our home. And I was beginning to read books off my father’s book shelf.

Interviewer: Littered?

Me: You realize how much of this information is little more than somebody’s waste product; their garbage! They pick the most disgusting and gruesome things that happened that day, then shove it in your face. “See what a hopelessly sinful planet we live on? There is nothing you can do about it!”

Back then, though, they were actually going to the places where there were riots and wars and taking pictures or videos of people being hurt, children screaming in terror, grown men crying in pain. Today, that is considered too real for us. They show us some blurry images and some lady shouting obscenities, probably hired to do so to make the scene seem worse. They don’t even bother to show you the true scene any more. They dress it up; they stage it if they think they need to. No amount of deception is beneath them. And I defy any major media executive to swear on an E-meter that they are not closely instructed on what to cover, what to say about it, and what “news” videos to use. The news could all be shot on movie sets as far as the people who deliver it to us know. And some of it is.

Interviewer: Is this what the books you read told you?

Me: God no! They told me, mostly, how willing the “great thinkers” were to reduce the situation to interesting topics to discuss. As if the rape of a girl, the murder of a baby or his mother, was no big deal really. That these things would have no lasting impact on the people they happened to, or the culture they happened in, or the perpetrators. It took me years to discover just how much impact such events could have on a being, and just how much impact past events have had.

Interviewer: Why do you think you remained unsatisfied with this way of looking at the human condition, when others around you seemed fine with it?

Me: I have no real idea. I always wondered if it was related to the fact that I wasn’t born in a hospital. It doesn’t really matter. That is something that is very difficult to put a finger on for most people.

Interviewer: Are there any events from your younger years that stand out as particularly concerning?

Me: There are several that do in retrospect. At the time I’m not sure any more which made the biggest impression. Most of the race riots were before I had much awareness of the larger scene. I was falling in love and getting in trouble with other kids from time to time. That seemed to be my focus. But meanwhile, Marilyn, then Jack Kennedy were killed.

Interviewer: You mean Marilyn Monroe? I thought she died of a drug overdose.

Me: The truth didn’t come out until years later. Typical. And no one paid attention to it then. She was killed by professional hit men, hired by the CIA. Just like Jack. And Bobby. And Martin. And probably a bunch of others that I’m not so aware of.

Interviewer: Isn’t all that just conspiracy theory?

Me: Don’t you start with me about that! It’s cold, hard fact. The only reason it’s disputed is because it makes groups that want to seem legitimate and honorable look like the out-ethics scumbags that they really are. They’re a pack of cowards and criminals. And we let them run this place! Ridiculous!

Interviewer: All right. So, how does Hubbard fit into all of this?

Me: The first book of his that I read was Dianetics. He calls it “Book One.” It talked about the concept of a time track, or memory bank, a concept I had been introduced to during the brief time I was getting counseling.

Interviewer: Time track?

Me: Right. That’s all the mind really is: A collection of recordings of past experience. Mental image pictures, with sound, touch, taste and smell. And emotions. Hubbard liked to call it “the bank.”

Interviewer: Was this the revelation you were looking for?

Me: No. It’s just a basic necessary understanding that most people don’t have. Once you have that understanding, it points you in the direction of further discovery. At least that’s what it did for Hubbard.

Interviewer: Why only Hubbard? Why did no one else ever make productive use of this fact about the mind?

Me: I guess it had to do with resolve and with courage. He had more of it along this particular line than anybody else. He was willing to put up with the bad reactions he got and continue to learn. Everyone else got stopped, if they ever got started.

Interviewer: You paint him as a very unusual fellow.

Me: He was. This universe is full of unusual people. How about the one we call Christ? How about the Buddha? Why did great teachings that have been embraced by millions come out of their individual efforts? I guess it was because they were unusual men.

Interviewer: Was Dianetics the turning point for you, then?

Me: Well, I don’t really see it that way. It was just my introduction to Hubbard. The book impressed me. My turning point was a course I took called “Ups and Downs in Life” or something like that. It taught the basic technology behind what we know as Scientology Ethics. From this course I learned of the existence of the anti-social personality.

I had been vaguely aware of such a concept. I had even been accused of being anti-social myself, because I didn’t like to go to parties. The concept isn’t unique to Scientology. In psychology such a person is called a Sociopath. But Hubbard re-defined the criteria for how to detect such a person, discovered ways to cure them, and learned of all the bad effects such people can cause around them, and how to avoid those bad effects.

Interviewer: What sort of bad effects?

Me: Accidents. Fights. Sickness. War. I wouldn’t be surprised if such a person wasn’t directly responsible for the recent pandemic. It’s the sort of thing they love to do.

Interviewer: But how can you tell who has this condition? Wouldn’t it just result in an argument? Won’t the person being evaluated assert that his rights are being violated by accusing him of having such a personality?

Me: We can get into that more later if you still think it’s important. It appears to be the perfect conundrum, so we really have to pull it apart and look at it carefully. Of course what you are describing is what has been happening down through the centuries. It is why so many such people have wiggled out of being caught. The key is not to try to catch them. That’s a criminal approach to the problem. All you do is make their existence obvious. Ideally, you get them to expose themselves. This depends on broad public education, which is the hard part of this whole thing. And then when certain things happen, and certain people react in certain ways, it becomes obvious to a trained person who’s who.

Inteviewer: How would that work? Can you give me an example?

Me: Well…let’s take hydroxychloroquine. This drug gets brought up by some medical people, and then by the President, as a possible treatment. This idea seems to be offered in good faith. But the media slams it as misleading. Then a group of practicing doctors come out in support of it, and their video gets taken down, presumably because one of the doctors was over-enthusiastic about the drug. The media then goes on to ignore the information from these doctors, and to smear the one who was so enthusiastic.

Now, a trained person would easily notice that in both instances the people praising the drug were sincere. A rational response would have been to see who else was supporting this drug and what their experience with it was. A trained person could see easily that the media were acting like criminals in this matter. They slammed the sources of this hopeful data as if personally threatened by it. Or they ignored the data. That’s anti-social behavior. What the doctors were doing was social behavior.

A trained person would know these reactions were the sign of a sociopath trying to cover up or justify his own criminal activity. You don’t even have to know what the criminal activity is. Behavior like that means it’s there. And of course, further digging verified that suspicion.

Interviewer: It did?

Me: Of course it did! But we digress.

Interviewer: So this training is the solution?

Me: It’s the biggest part of it. Once you’ve identified a sociopath, the next thing is to do something about it. The best thing to do is report it.

Interviewer: Like, a news report? Journalism?

Me: We don’t have a formal reporting process here. Most consider such systems too draconian, too open to abuse. In this world they might be right. So in this world, the press is supposed to fulfill this function. If you muzzle the press by restricting what it reports on without the populace even noticing, then the press can’t fulfill that function, and it doesn’t get done. Today we have a few alternative outlets that operate over the internet which are the only hope we have of receiving truthful reports about real criminal activity on the planet. It’s sometimes hard to evaluate the veracity of their reports, but they are all we have.

Interviewer: Certainly there must be some things that the mainstream outlets get right.

Me: The scores at sporting events? These days, they can’t even get election results correct!

Interviewer: What other things do they lie about that upsets you?

Me: There are a whole range of subjects that they either don’t report on at all, or only report on derisively.

One of the earliest subjects to be handled that way was my church.

Beyond that, a whole range of related spiritual facts get ignored, like reincarnation and past lives, out of body experiences, telepathy, ghosts and so forth.

Then there is the UFO/ET question. They ignore or make fun of those stories.

And beyond that there are a whole range of deceptive events and dirty tricks that never get reported correctly, like the political murders I mentioned earlier.

Interviewer: Why should I believe you about this?

Me: Follow my path and you will. Or just start being outrageously curious about life. If you can keep that up for a while, you’ll find out. Most people just aren’t curious enough.

Interviewer: Why is that, do you think?

Me: I guess every person has their own reasons. Curiosity is pretty easy to turn off. It’s a somewhat higher spiritual ability. If that approach to life gets criticized too much, it shuts down interest in life, conversation, academic innovation. It’s a dwindling spiral, and for someone like me, it’s very hard to take.

Interviewer: I think I understand why.

Will it never cease?

At the moment I am typing these words, I am waiting to see if someone who I was in the middle of a text conversation with is going to answer any of my more recent messages. This is part of the torture. The cultural unlearning of what a real conversation is, what a real friendship is. These are interactions that should be, above all, full of curiosity and interest. These qualities are being killed in people.

It’s like a film breaking in the middle of a movie. Will they fix it so that the story can continue? Or will they neglect it and leave a whole audience in mystery about how the story ends?

And I call that Purgatory.

Together It’s All Good

5 January 2021

We are heading into a period of high crisis in this country and on this planet, and I wanted to write a little about the fragile alliances that have appeared as this phenomenon moves forward.

Early signs of a shift

It has been over ten years ago now when the Nation of Islam decided to send a few of its members to our church to train as Dianetics auditors. This was an amazing thing for me to see happen, and it proved quite an adventure both for church staff and the trainees!

In 2016, I watched Alex Jones conduct an interview with Minister Farrakhan. It went rather well. As some may be aware, the NOI also has some interest in the UFO phenomenon.

It was not long after this that I witnessed Minister Tony Muhammad receive an IAS (International Association of Scientologists) Freedom Medal for his many years of work with gangs in the L.A. area to bring them together for a peace agreement (or “truce”).

These are only a few examples I am most aware of.

The story leading up to Trump

Again, around ten years ago I began to follow an odd assortment of people who saw a problem in American culture and politics and wanted to do something about it.

Alex Jones started reporting on people he called “globalists” many years ago. In 2000 he released a video report documenting odd ceremonies being indulged in by such people at a resort in California.

Other researchers had been looking into various remnants of historical elite groups that seemed to still be active today. The global bankers centered in the City of London was a prime example. Even Hubbard reported in 1967 that a similar group seemed to be coordinating attacks against my church in the press and in various Parliaments.

Since then, stacks of books and reports have been written and filmed documenting the secret dealings of such people.

In Europe, people were used to this mode of operation among the elites. But in the U.S.A. we tended to consider such behavior vaguely anti-American. Government was supposed to operate in public, and government was supposed to be in control, not someone else. But as history rolled along, it became more and more clear that secretive groups were hard at work, even in the U.S.

Christians were concerned with the growing popularity of atheism, particularly in academia.

Spiritual people were concerned with the continued concentration on materialism in society.

Scientologists were concerned with the continuous pounding of false accusations in the media, even after our situation with the IRS had been handled.

Many citizens were concerned that crime seemed to be getting worse, that families and other moral values were weakening, that schools were under-performing and that the use of medications in the Mental Health system was getting out of hand.

And so a story appeared in the “alternative” media stating that certain “patriots” in the military world, with assistance from others, were becoming more and more determined to do something about the situation using legal means, backed with military force if necessary, to shut down the corrupt officials and agencies and expose corruption in the private sector as well.

A similar story existed in the New Age community, that certain military people were willing to force the disclosure of secret government and industry dealings with ET groups. Some included a story that some sort of “ascension” event was imminent, and various elite groups were trying to sabotage this.

Thus you had New Agers, UFO enthusiasts, conservative (anti-crime) groups and churches coming together in a loose alliance to move forward with an agenda that focused on exposing the truth on many different levels.

And you had the Mainstream (controlled my the elites), academia, and many people in the corporate world poo-pooing this whole narrative as delusional.

Enter Trump

Trump himself had no particular interest in all this. But the story goes that he was approached by some members of this loose pro-truth, anti-corruption alliance and asked if he would run for President (as a Republican) so that they could use his office to provide cover for the people who were working inside government to make things right.

When Trump (miraculously?) won the election, his attempts to turn things around from his office were not totally successful. But the process had identified several persons and groups that were determined to maintain their position against the alliance. He would need four more years to deal with these people and make progress that would be truly visible.

This, at least, is the story.

This is why you have people as diverse as myself (a liberal), David Rubin (a former liberal and gay man), David Wilcock (an Ascension enthusiast), Simon Parkes (an ET contactee and ex-politician in Great Britain), and many others supporting the re-election of Trump against all odds.

On top of this, remote viewing groups such as Courtney Brown’s Farsight Institute have corroborated several “conspiracy theories,” along with the phenomena of past lives, ETs involved in Earth affairs, and some of Hubbard’s findings about Between Lives. This research helps to validate the story as it is being told by various people connected to the pro-truth alliance.

The chasm widens

At this point, the pro-truth (pro-Trump) movement has been almost totally cancelled from mainstream awareness. They are accused of lying!

The mainstream continues to push various repeating themes, all of which, in turn, seem to be more or less untrue:

  • Trump is an awful person and Biden is a wonderful person who won the election fair and square.
  • The doctors who say that the pandemic is scary are wonderful people.
  • The doctors who say the pandemic isn’t scary are awful people.
  • Anti-fascists and anti-capitalists have history on their side.
  • The mental health system, as led by psychiatry and followed by psychology, is wonderful.
  • Spiritual stuff is pseudoscience if not actually dangerous. Religion in general is pretty bad.
  • Persistent reports of crimes against humanity committed by any of the above wonderful people are hogwash if not actually dangerous to the promotion of public safety.
  • There is nothing wrong with us; they are the devils, the ones with personality disorders.

The problem with all this is that when facts are examined in a rational manner, many of these assertions are blatantly false. To the extent that these all come in a package, falseness in some of them argues for falseness in all of them.

It is the mainstream, then, (those who direct its messages) who are actually the compulsive liars and the people with Anti-Social Personality Disorder.

This makes for a difficult situation. The best handling for being connected to a Suppressive Person is to disconnect from him. The best handling for a tyrannical anti-life government is to quietly stop cooperating with it. When the suppressives have gone mainstream, how is this supposed to work? We will see…

If you look up and see the moon, you might pause to contemplate it for a minute. If you could stand up there and see clearly what was going on down here, what would you do?

Purgatory, Experience

4 January 2021

One reality, two stories

Dr. Mercola recently published an article entitled Mind to Matter: How Your Brain Creates Material Reality. It was about a book written by Dawson Church, who has a PhD in Natural Medicine and is involved in “energy psychology” and Emotional Freedom Techniques. Dr. Mercola wanted to provide his readers with a way to cope with the fear being induced by pronouncements from “experts” about the pandemic.

I didn’t even read the article. My focus was on the title of the article. Since when can a brain create material reality? A brain is part of material reality! The logic of this is impossibly circular.

And so I wrote this comment:

I am uncomfortable even with these apparently noble attempts to help us deal with being lied to every day of our lives.  Because they want me to believe that all those bad reactions come from my brain. And I know they don’t. That’s the story psychiatry is telling, and they are totally toxic. So I don’t want to hear about brain chemistry from the people who have more spiritual answers. Just makes me think they are running some sort of con game on me. That they could be secretly allied with the psychs! Yes, ditch TV and the rest of the mainstream media. Ditch the entertainment industry if you can stand to. But then you need to go ahead and ditch psychology. Don’t you all realize how complicit those people have been in all the crap that has been going on here on Earth for the last 100 or more years? For some reason, this is a huge leap of faith for a lot of people.

They are perfectly willing to accept that the mainstream is lying to them…except about brain chemistry. Well, take another look! They are also lying to us about brain chemistry, the brain as mind, and of course the brain as personality. I don’t know why that isn’t more obvious to more people. Just proves to me what a good and thorough job the “mainstream” has done on us. You want real freedom? You want your rights back? You want to see Dr. Mercola applauded for the courageous individual that he is? Then ditch psychology, psychiatry and that whole story about brains! When you realize what the mind really is, and who is really in the driver’s seat of your life, you will begin to toughen up a little and find a little latent spunk left in you. Go for it, people! This could be our last chance on this planet!

…this was an overtly impassioned comment! I am trying to somehow break out of this purgatory of at least half of society believing “facts” which are totally untrue. While others are just coming to realize that this is a problem now, I found out about this at least 40 years ago.

Amazingly, someone answered my comment:

larry_e, You have perfectly stated something I have only recently discovered in my life: Psychiatry and its attendant forms are the work of the Devil. One in seven Americans is on, or has been on, psychiatric drugs. And worldwide statistics aren’t far behind. These drugs have been passed through government agencies even though the very hypothesis under which they function is totally unproven. Even the psychiatric industry admits this! And what these drugs do to people is beginning to emerge as a global catastrophe.

I speak from personal experience.

I went to a psychiatrist for what was a situation of unbearable grief. He immediately gave me pills which numbed me into a calm, serene state. I stayed on these drugs for years because I could not face my pain. When I tapered off of them, I found myself in an unfolding mental and physical Hell, which has left me with permanent damage. My brain chemistry is so disturbed that I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, careening from one extreme emotion to another. I now have tardive dyskinesia, AFIB, intractable insomnia, all of which are CLASSIC withdrawal symptoms from these drugs. This has been going on for a year, and I have found there are millions of people in my same boat.

There are numerous forums on the internet devoted to the agonies of people like me. But the clincher is that 99% of psychiatrists deny the existence of protracted withdrawal symptoms! I believe the emergence of these drugs was in concert with the efforts of globalists to control the populace. People who have been rendered emotionally impotent are not going to fight back. I think the lowest life forms on the planet are psychiatrists. They surely know what they are doing, and laugh all the way to the bank. Josef Mengele would be proud.


For those of you who might be unaware, Mengele was a “doctor” who experimented on live children “rescued” from work camps set up by the Nazis before and during WW2. He also participated in their genocide operation.

More on the emotional challenges arising from deception

When any individual experiences reality differently than the story being told to him about that reality, he is put in a difficult position. In many places and at many times, people who disagree with what they are told is true have been hunted down, locked up, and often murdered.

If the facts are obvious, right in front of your eyes, and someone comes up to you and states that those facts are not as they appear to you, you are likely to see him as “crazy” and will support the idea that he should be taken away somewhere and be “fixed.”

But what if it is a power group who walks up to you and does this? What are your options then? They have the power to take you away and have you “fixed.” Yet it is obvious that they are the ones that are lying.

Something less than that extreme is my current situation. But for many people it has slipped past this point and they have been targeted, imprisoned or killed for saying what was in fact true. So you see the emotional state one could assume when Power is doing the lying, particularly when the lies are very obvious.

This can also happen on a more intimate level. It is less intimidating to have a friend who seems not totally truthful that to have your government doing that, but we are dealing here with what amounts to a form of injustice that most beings have experienced many many times; particularly the beings who are currently living on Earth. So the emotional charge an individual can have on this area can be all out of proportion to the incident he experiences with a friend.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, this tension can be created by a variety of seemingly minor incidents.

You could be having a text conversation on the phone, and the one at the other end drops out of it and does not reappear for minutes, hours or perhaps days. When this is done without warning (some young people seem to think this is “normal”) it can be very disconcerting for someone (like me) who is used to finishing a conversation in a proper manner, as one would do over the phone or in person.

Or someone could say they should be able to get together with you at such and such a day. Then the day comes and goes, and they finally respond with the fact that something came up that was more important.

These are not irreparable errors, but when someone commits them without warning and with no apparent appreciation for their emotional impact, the feeling of being wronged by someone you thought was a friend can get magnified.

I had to get used to the fact that government and the press were not as friendly as they appeared a long time ago. And though many good writers have tried to warn us that this sort of thing would happen (1984), apparently a lot of us were either never exposed to those stories or couldn’t afford to take them seriously.

And so here we are in 2021, in a very screwed situation. And here I am experiencing something akin to Purgatory.

The truth

I will not go into the whole panoply of issues we are currently being misled about. My blog does cover some of them, and you should be able to figure this out for yourself.

Here is how my teacher says it in The Way to Happiness: One can solve the problems of existence only when he has true data. If those around one lie to him or her, one is led into making errors and his survival potential is reduced. … Interpersonal and social chaos can result.

… People who keep their word are trusted and admired. People who do not are regarded like garbage.

In other words, if you want to keep your friends, don’t lie to them!

And if a government wants to keep its citizens loyal, it should tell them the truth about how things really are.

One of the most pervasive lies in society right now that gives me a very hard time is the one I mentioned at the beginning of this article. The brain is not the mind or the personality. Honest, it isn’t. This is not one of those truths that is obvious by just looking. But if you look a little closer than you are used to looking, you will find out it is obvious. Brain activity reflects thought patterns and emotional states. It doesn’t cause them!

Treating the brain for an emotional condition is like yelling at the speedometer when you are going too fast. Get the driver to apply the brakes!

By the way, in my universe, reading something I write without leaving a comment is a form of emotional torture. Just thought I’d clue you in.

Just kidding!

Japanese Christmas Card

3 January 2021

This came in yesterday from my friend Patrick who lives somewhere near Tokyo.

Civil Rights in America

2 January 2021

Pertinent previous posts:

Understanding Human Rights

More on Human Rights

The Emotion of Hate

The Course

Hillsdale College is a private college in Hillsdale, Michigan. Founded in 1844 by abolitionists known as Free Will Baptists, it has a liberal arts curriculum that is based on the Western heritage as a product of both the Greco-Roman culture and the Judeo-Christian tradition. Hillsdale requires every student, regardless of concentration of studies, to complete a core curriculum that includes courses on the Great Books, the U.S. Constitution, biology, chemistry, and physics.[5]

Since the late 20th century, in order to opt out of federal affirmative action policies, Hillsdale has been among a small number of US colleges to decline governmental financial support, instead depending entirely on private funding to supplement students’ tuition.


One of the ways Hillsdale promotes for donations is to offer free online courses and put the people who sign up on their mailing list.

The course I took consisted of a brief historical overview of civil rights in the United States. It contained 9 half-hour lectures, and some quizzes to act as memory tests.

I think four different professors contributed lectures to this course. It was not particularly intellectually rigorous, but reasonably thorough. The information was given not totally dispassionately. These people believe in Christian values and the traditions of human freedom as outlined in America’s founding documents. This was a facts and theory course – typical of the liberal arts approach. It was not training – not designed to teach a skill – but only to relay some historical facts that most agree to.

The Problem

The most obvious problem in America has been that black folks have been forced to take a back seat in American life ever since they were forced to move here from Africa, or later chose to come here. Not all the “seats” allotted to persons “of color” have been particularly uncomfortable or different from other seats, but the majority have definitely been located near the back.

What a focus on America, or the United States in particular, fails to notice is that this has been a pattern the world over for a very long time now. This was not just a phenomenon of New World colonization; it happened in Africa – including some black-on-black exploitation – in the Middle East, in India and in Indonesia. It happened anywhere that dark-skinned people lived and thought they were in control of the territories they inhabited. And something similar happened to the oriental people of the planet, particularly in Japan, Korea, the coast of China, and Southeast Asia. Something similar also happened in Australia, though the experience of aboriginals in all regions usually felt more like genocide than mere exploitation.

On top of that, slavery had been a tradition in many societies, including old Europe, where white slaves were also known.

These are problems that run deep in the fabric of human relations and human history. In fact, they run deep in the history of this universe. It is a game that groups have been playing against each other for a long time. This problem has supplied the intellectual and emotional fuel to many modern stories, notably Star Wars.

In covering just the U.S. aspect of this problem, the wider context is overlooked, and of course the big questions of why remain unaddressed.

Beyond the course: Causation

The course started with the U.S. founding documents and the moral paradoxes surrounding them (that some of the authors – Jefferson in particular – were slave owners). It went on to cover the intellectual debates that led up to the Civil War, and then all the various political maneuvers designed to retain white supremacy, particularly in the South. I should make it clear here, in case any readers are unaware of this, that real segregation laws existed in the United States. They mostly existed in the Old South, but not exclusively. And though today the United States can be considered one of the most free and equal countries on this planet, it is still obvious that it is far from totally free and equal. Furthermore, there are many countries on this planet where the racial proportions are very different than they are here, and thus the political and economic dynamics are different. Yet no country exists on this planet – to my knowledge – where this problem has been totally solved.

I see the essence of this problem expressed in the contents of three references listed HERE. These are under the top heading, Ponerology (the study of evil). These were originally written references that have been made into narrated videos.

Evil is not innate in people, particularly. But it is an old solution to an old problem, and a bad habit that just won’t go away. The intellectuals of this planet think that rational discourse could eventually handle evil thoughts. It can’t. Evil goes way beyond the realm of rational thought. This is like thinking that you could find some rational way to change how your heart beats or your hormones work. The tendency towards evil is built in at a very low level of human thought.

Where you find a being convinced that living a life of evil is his only option, you get what we modernly refer to as a “sociopath” or a Suppressive Person. The technical reasons for why a being would make such a decision are found elsewhere, though mentioned in the references linked to above.

This decision results in a being who habitually neglects the lives and feelings of other people, as he believes it is necessary to do this for his own preservation. Such a being is very convinced of this! And where he has attained some measure of intelligence, his motives and methods can become quite devious. He will attempt to play up any obvious differences in the people around him to get them to fight each other instead of him. Race is a very obvious difference. Sex is another one. The smart sociopath will latch onto just about any theory or narrative that could result in constant racial or sexual turmoil. The sociopath also has no problem viewing other living people as mere animals and thus subject to enslavement or summary execution. There are even stories circulating that some sociopaths are cannibals, though this is not confirmed.

It is easy to blame the profit motive (Capitalism) for the various resulting atrocities, as Marx and his followers did. Or “whiteness,” as some modern misguided theorists have claimed. “Colonialism” is another favorite target. But what seems closer to the truth is that a criminal clique has developed, and been nurtured, on this planet, and that its leaders and minions are for the most part white men. These people operate through various legitimate channels, such as big business, the news media, and the entertainment industry, to attain their goals and purposes. And though they are a confused and disorderly bunch, some “higher force” seems to be keeping them on track, and this has resulted in considerable suffering around the world, but specifically aimed at non-white groups, so as to fuel the narrative that this is all about racism or whiteness. It isn’t. It’s about social fears at a most profound and basic level. It is about people who are quite sure they would perish in a world where everyone else was friendly and peace-loving, instead of at each other’s throats.


Where causation is accurately identified, remedies can be formulated and enacted. This, of course, is the last thing the sociopaths want to happen, though in the long run it would also benefit them, by providing to them a route to healing.

Unless we can detect the social personality and protect him from undue restraint, and detect also the anti-social personality and restrain him, our society will go on suffering from insanity, criminality and war. And Man and his civilizations will not endure. These are the words of my teacher. Consider adopting them as your words, as your way of thinking, as a possible answer to the problem, a possible remedy.

The thought leaders at Hillsdale College, as well as many others in schools and churches and businesses and even governments around the world, are very concerned about where our planet is heading. They don’t realize how deeply the lies of the sociopathic cliques have affected them! There is a way forward. At least one way. Take it!

Conversation with a teddy bear

31 December 2020

I have a new sleeping companion.

And though she never says anything, that doesn’t keep me from talking to her…

“I want your help with something,” I told her. “I am depending on you for guidance.”

She was characteristically silent.

“I need your guidance about this friendship,” I insisted.

“You don’t think that would be a good idea?” Putting words in her mouth.

I noticed how she smelled. And the pounding of my heart.

“Ask her if I want guidance?”

This bear was showing signs of wisdom!

“I guess you’re right. That’s what I should do.”

She seemed to nod at me.

“Why do you think I love her so much?” It was a rhetorical question.

She seemed to be reminding me of the ones who had come before.

“Am I trying to complete something I started long ago?”

I remembered a promise that I made when I was nine.

“I wonder how many times I have left such promises unfulfilled,” I mused.

“It would be good to keep my promises.”

Again, she said nothing.

“But this is a promise that is difficult to live up to!” I protested.

Why do so many make such difficult promises, I wondered to myself, then go ahead and make good on them?

“Is this friendship the right one to fulfill this promise?”

Again, she was characteristically silent.

“Why DO I love her so much?”

I looked at my companion’s face. It seemed to be laughing at me.

Was I supposed to know the answer?